Every once and a while I come across a question or a posting on sites like LinkedIn that make it worthwhile to plow through all the trivia and self-serving promotions. A recent question concerning executives seeing themselves as frauds struck a familiar cord.
In my practice – mostly with executives – I find that many are dealing with a gnawing tension between authenticity and institutional constraints against it. Here is a paraphrased quote from a CEO “If I was really open and told my board my fears and insecurity – about the business and myself – two things would happen: 1, I’d get fired and 2, our stock would drop.”
What happens to people who suppress their feelings and emotions over time is that they get sick. My doctorate is in organizational behavior and development, not in therapy. Non-the-less, I am often the only person that top executives can talk to about these issues.
While I have found no pat answer I have done a number of things: encouraging and referring them to trained therapists; opening up communication within their family – a surprising number of executives are unable or unwilling to share their frustrations with their spouse or significant other; helping them to be more straight with their board or their bosses (I usually use behavioral rehearsal in these cases); encouraging them to move to a more healthy life style; and in a few cases helping them find more fulfilling jobs where they can be more authentic.
I have also found helping them understand the difference between their executive roles and their personal identity. This, however becomes a slippery slope and I’m still struggling with this balance.
