A recent client went into a mini-tirade in a meeting. He was “sick of all this soft, touchy-feely stuff” and implored his colleagues to “suck it up and get back to business.” His outburst was a legacy of the old paradigm when there was a reaction to anything that was deemed “soft.” This included feelings, relationships, empathy, and anything that was “touchy-feely.” If you think about it, this is a strange norm, because being alive and human involves relationships, feelings, and connecting with others. However, the value was facts and figures—“hard” stuff! Even though such rock-ribbed disciplines as physics now report that facts are relative, the bias continues. Organizations still talk about human resources and training as the “soft” side of management. But not only are people issues as real as financial and production figures, they require just as much skill and strength. In addition, they require authenticity and the risk of self-disclosure. This is much “harder” than hiding behind a memo, a stack of figures, or a quantitative decision matrix.
The most effective leaders in today’s era of downsizing are those who have the skills to authentically relate to their employees and engaging in a helping relationship. So, I think that “touchy-feely” is, in fact, the currency of the realm for effective leadership
